Asexy Article

An account of asexuality. The first time I heard someone my age say the word “sexy,” I was aghast. I probably would have used the word “aghast” at the time, too, because I had a slightly above grade level vocabulary that I was smugly proud of. “Sex” was not part of it, though. I knew what it was theoretically – 2 (or more?) people with their genitals in some configuration for enjoyment and/or procreation – but the concept didn’t register in my mind as something I should want to do. Not yet, at least. I was younger than most people …

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Sex and the Chronically Single Girl

One gal recounts the lessons learned from her sexcapades. For one of my classes, we had to read Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. The book’s protagonist Esther has an obsessive worldview of sex. At one point Esther says she sees the world divided between people who had sex and those who hadnǯt. To some degree, upon entering college and first discovering my own sexuality, I could relate to Esther’s social dichotomy. I felt as though everyone around me was having hook ups, and I was the one on the sidelines. I finally got to enter the game of sex January …

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Sophomore Slump (And Getting Humped)

Your grades shouldn’t be the only ones going down on you! Sophomore slump is no excuse to start slacking because, hey, if there were ever a time that called for excessive amounts of stress relief, it’d be sophomore year. Need some help on finding your “stress relief” buddy? I have got you covered! No, not in that way…that’s messy and we both know there’s no time for that kind of clean up when the pset is due by 5. Find a cute person in section. You know you are about to sign your life over to this class and are …

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No Time For Wasting Time

A plea for more honesty in the college hook up culture. Let’s be honest. The college hook up culture is not going to change itself. Countless articles have been written on the end of romance and the degradation in the sanctity of sex. Yes, that is probably accurate. Thanks to ~the media~ sex has become more visible to younger eyes, and technology has made it more accessible than ever before. Is that necessarily a bad thing? When done right (read: consensually) more sex is more fun. The hook up culture has at least delivered this to our dorm room doorsteps; …

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Dating Apps, Decoded

Some words of wisdom. Two years ago, I decided to get Tinder so that I could write an article about dating apps. You know, for research purposes. I couldn’t imagine actually trying to meet somebody through an app. After all, what would we tell the children if it worked out?! As a matter of fact, though, according to the Pew Research Center, 5% of married American couples met their significant other online, and—if they are honest— that is what they will tell their children. Although 5% does not seem like many people, it is important to note that the use …

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Apologies for My Sex Life

Repercussions of a sharing nature. To my next-door neighbor in McKinlock, I am so sorry for the very loud sex I have been having all year. I know it must be the nightmare for which you did not sign up. Thank you for only banging on my wall in frustration once, even if I was seconds from orgasm. To the girl who has gone down on me a lot, I am sorry for that one time I farted on your face. Also, I am sure you’re sorry to my next-door neighbor for the very loud sex we’ve been having all …

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OH YES!

Embracing the female orgasm and making it a priority. I came late (pun intended) to the world of “the sex.” In addition to that, it didn’t help that I used to be grossed out by the vagina—my own—vagina. I used to avoid eye contact during conversations with my high school guy friends about the pussy, especially when I was the only one in the basement who had a pussy. I took an “ew gross” stance to cunnilingus. Everyone else around me said so, and I followed suit. “I don’t ever want anyone going down there; it’s embarrassing.” I was body …

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Fancy That!

Our favorite response to the survey question, “Do you have any sexual fantasies?” Both parties have freely consented to everything that is occurring in this fantasy that involves a famous rapper beforehand: “Whose bed are you sleeping in? Someone’s been hiding you. Where have you been? You deserve rounds tonight, come through girl you deserve rounds tonight.” It’s been a long Friday. My headphones broadcast his sensual voice to motivate my tired mind. The gentle spring rain outside mirrors my own gloom, while darkened clouds cast mysterious shadows over the uneven cobblestones. I try not to trip as I avoid the …

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I am Okay to Wait

I am okay to wait, I thought, swinging my legs forward and back again, feet tracing pendulum paths in the air, not quite low enough to scrape the floor. I am okay to wait, I said, legs criss-cross-applesauce, fingers traveling paths between the freckles on my forearm. I am okay with waiting, I vow, and there’s this new feeling on my left hand, my fingers separated, not quite as familiar as my right. I am okay with waiting, I laughed, taking another sip of beer sour, wet cardboard saturating my tongue. Yes, that counts. That too. Still. I am okay …

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To Get Off, or Get Out?

What to do when he prematurely ejaculates and refuses to put in effort to get you off, too. By HUNTER RICHARDS You really thought you found the one: He is smart, kind of tall, funny, and said he loves giving head. What more could you really ask for? So when you’ve been seeing each other for a while now and he just brought you food all the way to the Quad from the River, it seems like it is all working out. Then it happens. He promises this has never happened before…but by the third time you guys hook up …

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The Breast Sex Ever

By HUNTER RICHARDS If your chest is past a D cup, chances are you’ve had at least one boy ask if you ever tried doing more with them. At which point, you probably think, “Like what, my taxes? Does he think they’re magic? Oh god, he totally thinks they’re magic. He’s rubbing the hell out of them hoping for his three wishes.” Luckily, he is quick to stutter out how one time in porn he saw a guy put his penis between the woman’s (very very very V E R Y) large breasts and just go to town. You realize, …

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