Sex Data

By ABIGAIL KOERNER   Roses are red Violets are blue 17.4% of Harvard students say they’re bisexual Was one of them you? 11.2% gay 0.7% Queer 63.2% heterosexual Makes the overwhelming majority clear 50% who aren’t that Are out to friends But not to mom and dad In our Indy Sex Survey 50 was a magic number With half of Harvard penises Circumcised down under Such data can be seen In naked pictures sent along As 50 ish percent have sent nudes from their phones Tastes of sex were also analyzed People love pizza post sex Not fries You voted …

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Sex Week

Events and revelations. By ANDIE TURNER   When I was young, my parents told me that people made babies when they “kissed, really fast, forty times in a row”. To punctuate their point, my mom would lean into my dad and he’d bounce his lips, woodpecker style, onto hers as she counted between breaths “…thirty-seven!… thirty-eight!… thirty-nineeeee!” But they never got to forty. My little brother and I would cover our eyes and screech as they approached, asymptotically, that mystical number.   So you can imagine my confusion when my mom took me to see Juno in the fourth grade. …

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Orbital Economics

Ec-10 Meets Asteroid Mining By JOSE ESPINEL   Take a trip to one of STAHR’s open houses at the Harvard Loomis-Michael observatory on a clear night (or get that coveted swipe access and go on your own time) and look up at the sky. Up there, that’s the realm of improbability. There are Wolf-Rayet stars frantically ejecting their atmospheres; exoplanets with orbital periods measured in mere hours. There is a certain suspension of disbelief that accompanies the study of the cosmos. So if I told you that an exercise in economic theory was taking place up there, in space, would …

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On Embodying the Upside-Down Smiley Face Emoji

Some thoughts on Mental Health on an Ivy League campus. By ALAYA AYALA Upon going through old text messages recently, I counted an extraordinary 103 uses of the upside-down smiley face emoji over the past week. This may just be an expression of my lack of creativity when it comes to using emojis, but I like to think it’s a pretty accurate reflection of where my mind has been recently. I’m definitely smiling, but it’s not for happy reasons, if you catch my drift.   Last term, quite frankly, was hell for me. On the outside I’m sure I looked …

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