This Time Next Year 

I will snap my driver’s license in two and try to forget  where it came from. I won’t smile in my next photo.  I will stop being palatable to the apparatus of the state   and adopt a new state to tell myself I’m safe   in this body. My hands are still sticky with honey   drawn in the shape of the Battle of San Jacinto  on a biscuit in 2005. I will wash them off   in the Rio Grande and leave my footprints   among the ancient snakes and fossils   and someone might remember I was never   supposed to be here in the first place.   This time next year I will head …

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This Time Last Year 

I wandered around a hospital parking lot blasting  that one Mountain Goats song on repeat  at 3:30 in the morning. This time last year   I chain smoked along the Charles  trying to suck out the thing that didn’t necessarily  claw at my insides but scratched   every now and again just to remind me   it was there. Sometimes I wake up coughing blood  and wonder what damage has been done  overnight. Sometimes I stain my sheets  and don’t remember how all this blood  got inside me in the first place. I wandered around  that hospital parking lot because  they said that something broke inside her blood,  and I figured I had extra she could …

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An Ode to My Goldman Sachs Lover

Dearest Finance bro For tonight, and tonight alone, make me your corporate hoe. I can see you’re from a bulge bracket And tonight I hope your bulge makes a racket. I like to keep a diversified portfolio So through my bedroom many of your kind go. But you best take a long position in your stock Or little attention will be received by your cock. I’ve always enjoyed liquidity in my assets So let’s do some double entry accounting with no ragrets; Keep going down on me until it makes you feel cheap And I’ll buy you up so you’re …

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Embrace All

Heteronormativity in cultural organizations at Harvard. By ANONYMOUS Cultural organizations at Harvard support the well-being of our community in many ways. They foster a sense of home for students of similar backgrounds; they provide safe space to talk about issues related to racial and ethnic identity. But at times, social constructs and norms from home permeate into these very organizations at Harvard. Heteronormativity is one of them. I have yet to see a case of active discrimination or blatant homophobia within these cultural organizations. I would like to believe that we are all sensible Harvard students who don’t form misjudgments …

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YOU HAVE TO GO FULL LESBIAN VAMPIRE

YOU HAVE TO GO FULL LESBIAN VAMPIRE you say, breath ghosting warm against the burgundy butterflies we will discover in the mirror later   i swear it’s the oxytocin but we are long past things making sense, and   maybe we are just tired: maybe we just want to be small and gentle and sleep, back to chest, ocean tide breaths carrying us through the wide quiet night

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The High Functioning Trap

More than what you produce. By ANONYMOUS   Standing in an empty kitchen in an apartment in Brookline, my boyfriend and his new roommate talk about their experiences with hospitalization. They swap programs, talk about partial hospitalizations and residential stays. I stay silent. Somehow, despite being actively suicidal several times a week throughout high school and self-harming on and off for six years, I managed to avoid ever being hospitalized. Always stopping on the edge something that would be majorly self-destructive, something that would get noticed.   My therapist finally mentioned recently that I probably have Borderline Personality Disorder, confirming …

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The HUDS Strike and My Recovery

A struggle with disordered eating. I had only just recovered from years of starving myself and constantly upsetting myself over food anxieties when the HUDS strike rumors had begun. The talk of food instability for some caused understandable stress, but the mere mention of food created this nagging feeling in my gut much worse than any hunger I’ve caused myself. At the beginning of this year, I had finally started making real peace with myself. The summer had been long and full of days I couldn’t get out of bed, and certainly not out of my room to go searching …

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He Dreams in Monotony

A short story. The dream was always the same for him now: the idle purchase of some item one day would slowly multiply by crawling twos and fours into a weekly and then a daily ritual, inviolate as the surety of the lethal pull of gravity and the noose, steadily tightening its hold on the hapless dreamer whose purchases came to define and then consume him and fill his house, and then storage units and streets and eventually his town, his country, his continent, and the world itself in the multiplied vastness of an endless set of uniform purchases, self-sustaining …

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Sex and the Chronically Single Girl

One gal recounts the lessons learned from her sexcapades. For one of my classes, we had to read Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. The book’s protagonist Esther has an obsessive worldview of sex. At one point Esther says she sees the world divided between people who had sex and those who hadnǯt. To some degree, upon entering college and first discovering my own sexuality, I could relate to Esther’s social dichotomy. I felt as though everyone around me was having hook ups, and I was the one on the sidelines. I finally got to enter the game of sex January …

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No Time For Wasting Time

A plea for more honesty in the college hook up culture. Let’s be honest. The college hook up culture is not going to change itself. Countless articles have been written on the end of romance and the degradation in the sanctity of sex. Yes, that is probably accurate. Thanks to ~the media~ sex has become more visible to younger eyes, and technology has made it more accessible than ever before. Is that necessarily a bad thing? When done right (read: consensually) more sex is more fun. The hook up culture has at least delivered this to our dorm room doorsteps; …

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OH YES!

Embracing the female orgasm and making it a priority. I came late (pun intended) to the world of “the sex.” In addition to that, it didn’t help that I used to be grossed out by the vagina—my own—vagina. I used to avoid eye contact during conversations with my high school guy friends about the pussy, especially when I was the only one in the basement who had a pussy. I took an “ew gross” stance to cunnilingus. Everyone else around me said so, and I followed suit. “I don’t ever want anyone going down there; it’s embarrassing.” I was body …

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Fancy That!

Our favorite response to the survey question, “Do you have any sexual fantasies?” Both parties have freely consented to everything that is occurring in this fantasy that involves a famous rapper beforehand: “Whose bed are you sleeping in? Someone’s been hiding you. Where have you been? You deserve rounds tonight, come through girl you deserve rounds tonight.” It’s been a long Friday. My headphones broadcast his sensual voice to motivate my tired mind. The gentle spring rain outside mirrors my own gloom, while darkened clouds cast mysterious shadows over the uneven cobblestones. I try not to trip as I avoid the …

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Q&A With Jimmy Vesey

The Indy talks to Harvard’s fourth Hobey Baker winner. Indy: It has been almost two weeks now since you won the Hobey Baker Award. What was that like in the moment, and how has it been in the time since? JV: It was a really cool moment to experience in person and with my eleven family members who were present.  My phone really blew up with congratulatory phone calls and text messages in the ensuing day or so.  Since then, it’s died down, and I’m trying to get back into my regular routine of being a student at Harvard.   …

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A Safe Space for Whom?

If we are trying to be inclusive, let’s include everyone. In the last few years, Harvard and other colleges across the country have made a greater effort to be inclusive and provide safe spaces for the diverse body of students who attend these schools. I am in complete agreement with the notion that it should be – at least at Harvard – the responsibility of the undergraduate houses to provide a space in which students do not feel directly threatened (physically or emotionally) for their differences. But the problem is the current practice of “safe spaces” and general “inclusive” college …

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Support Alongside Prevention

A personal account of sexual assault on campus.  Readers: Please be aware that the content of this article contains potentially distressing material.   The Undergraduate Council has proposed new incentives to get student groups to engage with the issue of sexual harassment and assault. Unfortunately, it’s too late for me. The skit at the beginning of Opening Days tried to teach my class about what sexual assault looked like but they left out the part where you break into hard, ugly sobs at random moments, withdraw from the people and activities you love, and cease to be your old self. …

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