By Mimi Tarrant
Valentine’s Day: Where were you?
A review of Valentine’s Day events that Harvard students probably should have gone to.
By MIMI TARRANT
This year, Cambridge and the surrounding area did not disappoint for Valentine’s Day events. Whether single and soul searching, cuffed and curious, or unavailable and uninterested, it’s certain that the right event was out there for you. So did you manage to venture out, exploring the best that Boston has to offer? Or did you spend your Valentine’s Day alone with a tub of ice-cream and the movie you’ve already watched three times? Either way, here were the highlights of the “where’s” and “what’s” for Boston’s thriving V-Day scene.
‘Not a Valentine’s Party’ – Beat Brew Hall
Only a short walk from the square, this event was perfect for those looking to celebrate Valentine’s without the dizzying heights of heading into Boston. With Beat hosting “friends, lovers, and loners alike,” everyone was welcome, making it ideal for that friendship group that insisted on ‘Galentine’s’ but secretly wanted their crushes to be there as well. An easy escape back to the dorm once the novelty has worn off also made this event an easy winner in the eyes of the “I’m trying to be sociable but can’t quite do it” Harvard student.
Lonely Hearts Party: Harvard-Wellesley – Cambridge Queen’s Head
First warning sign: Cambridge Queen’s Head. Second warning sign: the presence of “saucy singles.” Nothing should be called saucy but food. Third warning sign: glowsticks for a stoplight theme. Need I go on? Most probably yes, as inevitably some people went to this, and that single-handedly explains their non-existent love life. Next time, head to a place where Harvard can’t spy on your every move.
The Anti-App Valentine’s Day Party – Lamplighter Brewing Co.
“Finally, the event I’ve been wishing for, one that decries modern societal norms of the technological pursuit of love for the hedonistic pleasures of interpersonal, real-life interactions” – said no one, ever. There’s a reason dating has turned to our screens, and that’s because we can’t face the unbearable humiliation of rejection to our face. What makes you think that Harvard students will be any different? Lamplighter Brewing Co. stripped you of your protective shield against human interaction by making you “Check your phone at the door.” So, unless your DataMatch was so strikingly awful that you denounced dating apps for good, it can be assumed that this event was not filled with Harvard students who struggle to make eye contact, let alone interact, without a phone.
Heartbreakers & Heartthrobs: A Drag King Event – Museum of Science
Two questions immediately spring to mind about this event. First, why the Museum of Science? Second, did the performer ‘Mozza Fella’ have anything to do with mozz sticks? If so, we were definitely there. Regardless of whether we knew what a drag king show entailed, what’s the Harvard romantic experience if you don’t test your comfort levels a little? For those who get that adrenaline rush on the walk of shame from the Quad at seven in the morning, not knowing who you’re going to see or how you’re going to make it to your nine o’clock class, this event would definitely have made your Valentine’s Day.
On Loving Yourself: Let’s Get It On – Spaceus Annex
If you were “ready to heat shit up,” then this was obviously the place to be. Not only could you speak to Goddess Cecelia, the Sexuality and Pleasure Editor, about everything “self-love, sex, money, and adornment,” but all at 3pm on a Saturday. What else could you want to be doing? Perfect for those who turned up to all that Harvard’s Sex Week had to offer, this event definitely helped the sexually deprived of Harvard’s campus learn a little bit more about going it alone.
Mortified Boston: Doomed Valentine’s Day – OBERON
Let’s not beat around the bush (no pun intended) – being a Harvard student inevitably brings with it an endless supply of cringe-worthy sexual embarrassments; it’s just part of the job description. That’s why Harvard students must have been at OBERON in their droves, sharing their humiliating stories in a crowd made up of “I don’t know your name but see you every day in lecture,” strangers. Nothing helps embarrassment more than endless laughter and a small dose of empathy, so OBERON’s V-day event hit the spot this year.
F$@K CUPID BUYA STYLE – La Fabrica Central Restaurant
Mimi Tarrant ‘21 (email@example.com) hopes you had a Valentine’s Day to remember. If not, you weren’t doing it right.