Funniest sex stories:
“I went to lick his chest, he moved and I licked his armpit instead. His deodorant burnt my tongue and I started crying and ran to the bathroom.”
“BF kissed his arm by accident thinking it was mine and was confused when I didn’t react.”
“While blowing me, she started laughing when All Star by Smash Mouth started playing in the background and promptly threw up on my dick.”
Never do anything in a squash court after hours. It will only end badly.
Nicknames for Genitalia:
Wreck It Ralph
Arnold, the Sperminator
Sext/Online dating message:
Guy: “Come over, I have a cat.”
Me: “I have a different kind of pussy you can play with…”
Are you constipated? Because i’d like to fuck the shit out of you.
I’ll tickle ur pickle for a nickel.
With an established partner: Good morning text featuring description of their fantasizing about me the night before. 🙂
How about we take the Rocky Road to Poundtown where I can flick your Vanilla Bean and you can make my Banana Split?
You look like a serial killer…
Strangest Porn: “Right in front of my salad!”
“Office hours. Hot TF. Only one to show up. You get the gist.”
“Group sex with all the attention on me!”
“Getting an A in Ec 10…”
64.8% of respondents have sexted!
17% of respondents have lied and said they were not a “virgin”.
11.8% of respondents have lied and said they were a “virgin”.
We are so smoooooth….
“Hey, are you water in a drought? Because my demand for you is completely inelastic.”
“HOW MUCH DOES A POLAR BEAR WEIGH? ENOUGH TO BREAK THE ICE.”