Summer Lovin’: Raising the Bar


He appeared to be well rounded from his Tinder profile: 24 years old, dark hair, dark eyes, well-dressed, a student at Harvard Med.

I was meeting John* for the first time after a few flirtatious text conversations. I rarely get excited for first dates considering this will be my 5th Tinder date in the past week and my 12th since the summer started (none having earned a second date).

However, I had high hopes for this one. I smiled as he approached Crema Café, but my enthusiasm started to wane.

He was considerably shorter than me.


Height has been a consistent challenge in the dating world. While my Tinder profile says that I am 5’10”, I’m definitely closer to 6 feet tall. Yes, this is false advertising, but the big 6’ tends to scare guys off.

In freshman and sophomore year, my love life consisted of cherry picking from the Harvard athletic teams on Tinder, in class, and at parties for short-lived passion. Now, for the first time in my life, I have begun the quest for a serious intellectual and emotional connection. So I raised my age range with the intention of meeting more mature men and have been going on dinner dates (very different from Netflix and Chill). Hopefully soon I will meet a guy who hasn’t lied about his height (like me).


So, tonight, we have Cole*, who appears to have potential. He is 26, attractive, athletic, and went to Brown for undergrad. His profile advertises that he has never met a girl taller than him, even in heels.

My turn to put that to the test. We go out for sushi and I am impressed with how he took the lead. I am extroverted and assertive by nature. Unfortunately, with men this is often perceived as masculine or too aggressive. So when he asked me to dinner first and made the reservation, I was relieved not to have made the first move.

This wave of relief is telling of my newfound interest in men with strong taking-charge attitudes. My former relationships have been with passive guys who allowed me to control conversations and make decisions.

Now I have realized that I need someone who can banter with me and plan a nice evening or weekend. This way I cannot turn into the dictator girlfriend…(more to come on that later!)

*Names changed for privacy.