By Andrew Adler
BY ANDREW ADLER
The Indy’s Guide to Harvard-Yale Weekend.
The game is the one time a year when Harvard and Yale students have the kind of fun most college students across the country have been having every Saturday since they got to school. You only have two chances to do Harvard-Yale at Harvard as an undergrad right. I’m here to give you tips on how to make the most of it!
Even though it’s going to be sunny on Saturday, the high is supposed to hover around 37 degrees. For those of you who have not yet attended a football game, you will be saddened to learn that the stadium is not indoors. I recommend wearing layers — which should be easy given all the Harvard-Yale swag being sold. Don’t forget to bring your sunglasses, too!
Here is our fight song. Commit it to memory so you can recite it and act like you’ve been a Harvard Football fan all season long:
Ten thousand men of Harvard
gained vict’ry today,
For they know that o’er old Eli
Fair Harvard holds sway.
So then we’ll conquer old Eli’s men,
And when the game ends, we’ll sing again:
Ten thousand men of Harvard
gained vict’ry today!
Contrary to popular belief, Eli refers neither to Eli Manning, quarterback of the New York Giants, nor to Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin. In fact, Eli refers to Elihu Yale, the Welsh namesake of our most despicable rival, Yale. There’s another verse in Dog Latin but unless you’re one of my few roman or dog readers, you probably won’t be able to learn it in time for Saturday. Don’t worry; you won’t be the only one.
Some of you will show up to the game with little knowledge of the actual sport being played in front of you. That’s ok. You have time to learn. Just give a quick read of Football: Rules, Tips, Strategy, and Safety by Brian Wingate, What it Takes to be # 1 by Vince Lomardi Jr., or If I Did It by O.J. Simpson. Additionally, if you get confused about when to cheer during the game, just let the crowd give you the cues. However, don’t go too wild after Harvard converts an extra-point. It’s not that big of deal.
Because I, Andrew Adler, cannot legally consume alcohol, my cool 21 year-old friend Andre Wadler will write the next portion of this Harvard-Yale Guide:
Harvard-Yale is the one time a year that students get truly turnt. But, in the frigid November air, you have to make the choice between dranks or warm beverages, right? Wrong! Add in some Baileys, Fireball, or Amarula with your coffee or hot chocolate, and boom, you have the best of both worlds. But what if I want to continue drinking upon entering the stadium? There’s no way? Wrong again! There’s an ingenious little invention called a flask that allows you to conveniently and discretely store alcohol on your persons. Moral or not? That’s your call.
Over the course of the day, you will get hungry. Between the cold temperature and the drinking, your desire for warm food is inevitable. Despite my many requests to the stadium vendors, they STILL refuse to sell grade-A filet mignon at the stadium. Hotdogs and other standard stadium fare will have to do. There will also be lots of free food offered by DAPA and the CEB.
Now that you know how know how to be filled with food and dranks, it’s time for you all to learn about our rivals. Yale fans are notoriously cruel. If you encounter one on Saturday attempting to disparage our beloved Crimson, have a quick retort ready. Maybe something like, “The last time you guys won The Game Bush was president and Green Day was raking in Grammy awards.” That insult is a triple threat because it reminds them of their inferior football team, a dark period of American politics, and an even darker period of American popular music.
For the first time in school history, ESPN’s College Gameday will come to Cambridge to preview and discuss The Game. Guys, can we please act like we do all the time?
Well, I think you’re equipped for an unforgettable Harvard-Yale weekend. Stay warm, be safe, and BEAT YALE.
Andrew Adler ’17 (andrewadler@college) is looking forward to the best weekend of the semester with his good friend Andre.