UC Candidates 2009: Long | Johnson


Platform Statement

Here’s what we promise to do as UC President and Vice President:

  • Ad Board
  • J-Term
  • Advising
  • Student Life
  • Budget Cuts
  • Hot Breakfast
  • Safety
  • Put a man on the moon

Questions to get to know the candidates
1. If you could be any Disney character, who would you be? Why would that character make a good UC President/Vice-President?
Robert: Pumba from The Lion King. Visibility is key for the UC, and Pumba’s girth makes him hard to miss.
David: I’ll tell you who wouldn’t make a good UC Vice President: Sebastian from The Little Mermaid. Long Johnson hates crabs.

2. How much do you think students care about the UC? How does this election affect the life of the person reading this article?
We’re confident that even students who don’t care about the UC would be happier with Long Johnson.

3. What do you think about more often, sex or the UC?
The UC.

4. Which of the two of you has a bigger ego? Prove this with concrete examples.

Definitely Robert. He had this huge Eggo the other day, piled high with strawberries, whipped cream and syrup. I was surprised it fit in the toaster. It was way bigger than the Veritas waffles.

5. If you could introduce anything from your hometown to Cambridge, what would it be and why?
Robert (Augusta, GA): Peaches, because they are so tender.
David (Grand Rapids, MN): The Grand Rapids, because they are so rough.

6. What do you think about inexperienced people running for the UC? Please make a reference to Barack Obama somewhere in your answer.
Robert: Well the first time is always special, and we’d like ours to be memorable.
David: Of course safety is always a concern, and I’ve heard you can pick up some bad stuff along the way. For Obama, it was the birther movement, and for us, well, nothing’s been confirmed yet.

7. You have been told to make and name a drink after your running mate. What is it, and why?
Robert (for David): Milk.
David (for Robert): Cookies.

8. What is your favorite HUDS meal?
Robert: Fish sticks.
David: Cherry tomatoes.

9. Let’s talk music. What would be the theme song to your ticket? What is the best song with which to end a party?
Theme Song: “Everytime We Touch” by Cascada. It really speaks to Long Johnson’s mission.
End a Party: Billy Joel, “For the Longest Time.” Because with Long Johnson, the party never ends.

10. If you could make everybody at Harvard read one book or watch one movie, what would it be and why? (You may include “words to live by” if you’d like)
Up. It’s adorable.