Asexy Article

An account of asexuality. The first time I heard someone my age say the word “sexy,” I was aghast. I probably would have used the word “aghast” at the time, too, because I had a slightly above grade level vocabulary that I was smugly proud of. “Sex” was not part of it, though. I knew what it was theoretically – 2 (or more?) people with their genitals in some configuration for enjoyment and/or procreation – but the concept didn’t register in my mind as something I should want to do. Not yet, at least. I was younger than most people …






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Sex and the Chronically Single Girl

One gal recounts the lessons learned from her sexcapades. For one of my classes, we had to read Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. The book’s protagonist Esther has an obsessive worldview of sex. At one point Esther says she sees the world divided between people who had sex and those who hadnǯt. To some degree, upon entering college and first discovering my own sexuality, I could relate to Esther’s social dichotomy. I felt as though everyone around me was having hook ups, and I was the one on the sidelines. I finally got to enter the game of sex January …






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Sophomore Slump (And Getting Humped)

Your grades shouldn’t be the only ones going down on you! Sophomore slump is no excuse to start slacking because, hey, if there were ever a time that called for excessive amounts of stress relief, it’d be sophomore year. Need some help on finding your “stress relief” buddy? I have got you covered! No, not in that way…that’s messy and we both know there’s no time for that kind of clean up when the pset is due by 5. Find a cute person in section. You know you are about to sign your life over to this class and are …






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No Time For Wasting Time

A plea for more honesty in the college hook up culture. Let’s be honest. The college hook up culture is not going to change itself. Countless articles have been written on the end of romance and the degradation in the sanctity of sex. Yes, that is probably accurate. Thanks to ~the media~ sex has become more visible to younger eyes, and technology has made it more accessible than ever before. Is that necessarily a bad thing? When done right (read: consensually) more sex is more fun. The hook up culture has at least delivered this to our dorm room doorsteps; …






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Apologies for My Sex Life

Repercussions of a sharing nature. To my next-door neighbor in McKinlock, I am so sorry for the very loud sex I have been having all year. I know it must be the nightmare for which you did not sign up. Thank you for only banging on my wall in frustration once, even if I was seconds from orgasm. To the girl who has gone down on me a lot, I am sorry for that one time I farted on your face. Also, I am sure you’re sorry to my next-door neighbor for the very loud sex we’ve been having all …






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OH YES!

Embracing the female orgasm and making it a priority. I came late (pun intended) to the world of “the sex.” In addition to that, it didn’t help that I used to be grossed out by the vagina—my own—vagina. I used to avoid eye contact during conversations with my high school guy friends about the pussy, especially when I was the only one in the basement who had a pussy. I took an “ew gross” stance to cunnilingus. Everyone else around me said so, and I followed suit. “I don’t ever want anyone going down there; it’s embarrassing.” I was body …






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I am Okay to Wait

I am okay to wait, I thought, swinging my legs forward and back again, feet tracing pendulum paths in the air, not quite low enough to scrape the floor. I am okay to wait, I said, legs criss-cross-applesauce, fingers traveling paths between the freckles on my forearm. I am okay with waiting, I vow, and there’s this new feeling on my left hand, my fingers separated, not quite as familiar as my right. I am okay with waiting, I laughed, taking another sip of beer sour, wet cardboard saturating my tongue. Yes, that counts. That too. Still. I am okay …






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‘Do My Boobs Look Weird?’

A stream-of-conscious account of having sex.  What’s more deafening and mood killing than my roommate occasionally blasting the Game of Thrones soundtrack or “Ode to Joy” when I bring someone over? My own mind! It distracts me from fully enjoying the sex I’m currently having! Watching sex scenes in movies and television shows gave me a very unrealistic expectation of what sex would and could be like in college. Surprisingly, there was no fade to black montage of backs gracefully thrusting with Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” playing in the background. While I definitely wouldn’t call myself a sexual wizard, …






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Losing It

A lot less glamorous than Gossip Girl. I remember playing truth or dare in seventh grade at a quintessential middle school sleepover. Most of the dares involved calling boys we admitted to having crushes on during truth’s using *67, except for the one dare which forced me to eat cat food because I would rather do that than say the name of the first boy I had kissed (my friend admitted to me that he was gay quickly after the kiss). With the aftertaste of cat food in my mouth, I asked my friend Erin a loaded question for her …






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Get Wet

The Science of Squirting. Girls are generally thought to be confusing creatures.  But nothing seems more confounding than the female anatomy, especially with regards to sex. Unlike males, not all females can come during intercourse—why is that? Is the G-spot even a real thing? Can females, like males, ejaculate? Is female ejaculation the same as “squirting”? My most recent ex-boyfriend asked me if I could “squirt.”  “It would be so awesome if you did,” he said. “Um, not that I know of,” I replied, “but maybe that just means you need to try harder?” His question got me thinking—are all …






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Shit Cosmo Should Say (But Doesn’t)

How to have great sex. To most females, Cosmopolitan magazine is a go-to publication for a giggle-inducing, girls-night-in. With a front cover that boasts 125 different ways to please your man, how could a girl not want to pick it up and learn a few tricks? But while Cosmo offers a myriad of sex tips for us eager women, most of the time, Cosmo is, quite honestly, full of shit when it comes to sex, especially great sex. Instead of telling us the most basic ways to have great sex, they detail 50 different ways to do it with whipped …






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(Safe) Sex and the Single Woman

Or why my abstinent ass got an IUD. At 8:30 a.m. on a Friday morning early this month, I braced the cold to jump on the 47 bus to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Late, I huffed through the corridors and landed at the OB/GYN on the 8th floor. Minutes later I was weighed, measured, and naked with my feet in the stirrups and an uncomfortably air conditioned breeze wafting up my canal. An unreasonably handsome gynecologist entered the room and shook my hand before letting me know that I could probably put my legs together and down. We went …






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Common Room Horrors

They aren’t uncommon. Sometimes I wonder how Harvard honestly expects two people to comfortably live within their ‘doubles.’ Even if you manage to not physically hit one another while dressing in the morning, the tight living conditions will assuredly make one consider living in the common room. What a lovely spacious room is the common room! I can see myself in the mirror as I pick out an outfit, I do not have to fear claustrophobia, and I can stretch my arms out without hitting a wall. While I was aware that I would have to deal with my roommates …






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Ode to the Delphic Basement

In this Ode I will describe how I banged a Chode It was not long but instead short But oh boy did it release a quart On my face his nectar splashed Before my eyes he gouch flashed In front of my mouth, his gargantuan balls hung With delicacy and grace they received my tongue The Dirty D lived up to its name his bush was nearly impossible to tame I fucked fucked and fucked some more The couch the bar and even the floor And alas I still want some more I guess I am the Delphic whore.






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