Pforzheimer House


Pfortunate pfreshmen placed in Pfoho should shed tears of happiness this Housing Day Thursday. These lucky future Class of 2017 quadlings will have truly won the Housing Lottery. Yes, the Quad may seem pfar, and the habit of putting a “pf” in pfront of and in the middle of every single word that normally contains an “f” may be annoying at first, but at the end of the day, every Pfohoser knows that Pfoho is a loving, caring home that you can truly count on pfor three wonderpful years.

Students are guaranteed singles or enormous suites sometimes even pfeaturing common rooms with kitchen, pfrom the pfateful day when they are lucky enough to receive their acceptance letters pfrom polar bears who were never bothered by the cold, anyway. But if they were, Pfoho’s pfamous double dining hall, that offers a comfortable and spacious place to eat on the lower level is accessible pfrom rooms without having to go outdoors and changing out of their pfuzzy pajamas. There are cozy nooks on the second level pfor board games and late-night study sessions with other pfriends. And when the dining hall food just doesn’t do it, pfear not: the Quad Grill is always stocked with mozz sticks, milkshakes, burgers, and quesadillas. Pfoho is also the scene of the pfamous 90s dance and wonderful Pfoho Pfridays usually featuring delicious Pfelipe’s guacamole and chips.

Housemasters John Durant, Anne Harrington, and their Chelsea-loving, X-box fanatic nine-year old Jamie, have made their first-year at Pfoho remarkable. Other than the opening of the luxurious spfa with an upscale massage chair that has its own soundtrack, the planning of a party space in the basement, and the introduction of “Lunch on the House” that lets students take out their TFs or professors anywhere in the Square, the new Housemasters have truly spoiled Pfohomies with splendid Housemaster Open Houses. These Sunday night events have included tasty delights from themes such as desserts around the world, German and Austrian snacks (with a special appearance of Hungarian Salami! Yum!), Tapas, etc. The Masters also organize Pfull English Breakfasts open to anyone who signs up.

Whatever our River friends may say, those who are lucky enough to pass under the arch of Pforzheimer House will not be disappointed. And the walk really isn’t that pfar.