Inaugural UC Meeting Liveblog Starts Now

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Your humble correspondent (Bill O’Reilly hasn’t trademarked this phrase yet, right?) has, throughout the course of the night, braved all sort of natural disasters, from angry shuttle drivers that wouldn’t let her on the bus to the first harbinger of the Apocalypse to fall over Massachusetts since Terry McAuliffe became a superdelegate: thundersnow. At the moment, the high-brow UC meeting consists of SAC Chair Jon Staff dancing to Digital Underground’s “Humpty Hump” around Harvard Hall 104, but I am told this is a completely serious meeting, so I’m not smiling just yet. Concerns over my identity are also arising as I slowly realize that I am here tonight to praise and poke fun at the guy I was running against merely two months ago. But- hey!- at least Sundquist doesn’t play polo, so I have no fear of him jousting into the room and impaling me anytime soon.

Super serious reporting starts now.

  • Frances Martel

    Some UC people are quickly starting to tinkle in, none of whom I recognize. AWKWARD. If they move to remove me from the premises, I counting on Jon Staff to rule everything dilatory.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt Sundquist just walked in to “Hail to the Chief”. This is all too real.

  • Frances Martel

    In the interest of professionalism, DJ JT Staff is playing “Get Low”, apparently some sort of UC anthem.

  • Frances Martel

    EC chair Michael Taylor says something about the “election process falling apart”. Hm, reminds us of a certain event in Qdoba during the UC election this past year when a certain polo player and his crony offered burritos in exchange for votes.

    Nope, no bitterness here.

  • Frances Martel

    Randall Sarafa has just entered the building, to no song in particular. Well, to some emo song. Irrelevant. Something about his black coat and awesome blue striped button-down is making a bit of a fashionista out of me.

  • Frances Martel

    MATT SUNDQUIST: “I AM GOSSIP GEEK”

    you heard it here first.

  • Frances Martel

    It appears that there is a dress code for UC meetings, and only half of the UC respects it. These reps are wearing everything from sweatpants to fancy button-downs. But I thought they all took this seriously?

  • Frances Martel

    I’ve been here about 20 minutes and have been accused of being Gossip Geek about the same amount of times. Did you guys not get the memo? YOUR PRESIDENT is behind everything! It’s obviously a conspiracy to improve their image!

  • Frances Martel

    In other news, I’ve been here 20 minutes without using the word “fuck”. Randall Sarafa just made me break the winning streak by accusing me of being Gossip Geek. I guess you can take the girl out of New Jersey…

  • Frances Martel

    OFFICIAL MEETING STARTS NOW

  • Frances Martel

    Ryan Petersen’s car got towed in NYC, which means Matt, as VP, will swear in Randall, and then EC chair Mike Taylor will swear Matt in, and then apparently Jon Staff will swear Mel McGowan in, who will swear Andrea Flores in? I’m confused.

  • Frances Martel

    Randall is officially the new UC VP. Hooray!

  • Frances Martel

    Randall begins his thank yous. Annie Riley is gangsta (“she kept it real”), Ryan Petersen is in jail or his car got towed or… something embarrasing, and Lori Adelman is… there.

  • Frances Martel

    Transparency and communication: the UC’s version of “hope” and “change”.

  • Frances Martel

    In the blink of an eye, Randall has made turned his speech from an Oscar-award-winning list of names to a high school faculty advisor’s harangue on being responsible about your extracurriculars. Apparently no one on the UC checks their email?

  • Frances Martel

    That’s it?

  • Frances Martel

    Matt is now taking his oath. He was officially out of office for 20 seconds, and recognizes that they were “relaxing”.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt is dead set on bringing up concrete UC points, in slight contrast to the more morals-oriented speech Randall gave. I can’t believe I just said “moral” and “UC” in the same sentence- a sign of the times?

  • Frances Martel

    Mental health services- I wonder if this comes up in particular because I’m here.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt decides it’s important to bring up the fact that, as a philosophy major, this is the closest thing to a job he will ever have.

  • Frances Martel

    What are those neon yellow cell phones that all the UC reps have? Maybe they should’ve sent someone a little more knowledgeable about the actual UC than Ron Paul’s campaign inspiration to liveblog this. (The blimp was my idea!)

  • Frances Martel

    Matt and Randall don’t want to sponsor legislation. Ever.

  • Frances Martel

    Everything about the college- ever- will be handed out at the next UC meeting. In the form of a flow chart, because text is a little too representative, and representation is violent.

    In other words, this regime is totally postmodern all the way.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt: by ‘honesty’, I mean, I have no idea how parli pro works, but neither do you!

  • Frances Martel

    Matt ends his speech with “I’m excited!”

    So are we, Matt. So are we.

  • Frances Martel

    There are “Special” elections happening all over the place, which means there are no reps here. Except there are like 30 of them.

  • Frances Martel

    The new reps introduce themselves, so we know who to blame when we have to stay another three hours because someone gave their vote to a different rep.

  • Frances Martel

    Jon Staff talks about Ad Board reform with an unidentified book in his hand. I have a hunch it may be the Communist Manifesto. Or Robert’s Rules. Same thing.

  • Frances Martel

    The SAC has not met, but has done a lot of work without meeting. Oh, wait, Jon says they have met, despite the fact that he just said he didn’t.

  • Frances Martel

    Telling people to tell you when you’re doing a bad job is a dangerous path to take, Jon.

  • Frances Martel

    Randall is falling asleep; the random guy next to him is probably on gchat.

  • Frances Martel

    Oh, nevermind. Randall is up.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt is doing his self-proclaimed idiosyncratic pencil twirling, which is much more interesting than Ad Board reform.

    God I would’ve been the end of this organization. You all made the right choice.

  • Frances Martel

    Sorry! Harvard wifi directly intercepted this exclusive coverage. I was too busy freaking out about my internet to hear what committee Randall Sarafa is chairing, but it sounded fascinating.

  • Frances Martel

    Oh! Mental health awareness. And the HoCos are going to be consulted- hooray! Matt and Randall are already way better than Ryan and… Matt.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt is planning a “diversity” discussion (?)

  • Frances Martel

    Matt talks cable TV now. Matt and ex-SAC chair Mike Ragalie went around the Houses trying to get cable TV through computers and some weird WiFi system (Currier was supposed to be the guinea pig for this). Apparently they were told that a study they had no access to said that cable was an impossibility. That’s the faculty’s way of saying “no, just because we don’t want to”.

  • Frances Martel

    I’m really intrigued by the neon yellow cell phones.

  • Frances Martel

    Mike Ragalie has a question! And the question is “congratulations guys!”

  • Frances Martel

    Actually, the question is about John Dowling (sp?) coming to talk to the UC about its futility on its 25th anniversary. He should be coming to the meeting next Monday.

  • Frances Martel

    But there is no school Monday.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt will not editorialize on Dean Smith’s motives.

  • Frances Martel

    Matt is now editorializing on someone else’s motives, who is displeased with what is happening with the UC in the past year (party grant debacle, etc) and sent an angry rant to Dean Smith. And then Matt says that Dean Smith agrees with that.

  • Frances Martel

    The comments period is ominously silent.

  • Frances Martel

    The UC will now nominate a secretary. Kyle Krahel, outgoing secretary, will now speak about how awful it must be to be writing down every word of every meeting. Hell, I’m trying to do it once and I’ve already failed, though I guess secretaries don’t have to be witty.

  • Frances Martel

    Something crazy is now happening that involves Randall Sarafa and lined paper.

  • Frances Martel

    Two people have been nominated, but Matt has already told one of them (Maya- I’ll figure out who you are later) to give their acceptance speech.

  • Frances Martel

    And now, I have to go fail at being witty somewhere else- goodbye faithful UC! You’re in good hands, really.