Liveblogging the Female Orgasm

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First, the good news: I’m in. I have a seat at the seminar. The bad news? My computer’s battery is dying, and I only have an hour’s worth of battery power. But I’ll blog until it runs out of power. The rest, you’ll have to figure out on your own.

So, refresh for updates. Right now they’re stuffing goodie bags and sorting packets of lube and condoms, so I’m going to put my laptop on standby.

This year’s speaker is Megara Bell, of the Center for Sex and Culture. There’s a handout about the “Physiology of Pleasure” floating around, but I’m not sure what’s on it (didn’t grab one). It sort of looks like everyone up front is sitting down; maybe we’re about to get this show on the road? This year’s set-up is swank–I went to the first one, which was in a super-overcrowded common room in Adams House, and all the vagina-shaped cookies were gone by the time I got there. And it was about the temperature of a vagina in the room.

Sci Center B is the biggest classroom on campus, but it looks like they may actually fill it up. Also, there’s some serious AV components, including a video screen. Looks like everyone will get a good look at the vagina hand puppet!

Yay, orgasm-related swag! (Shirley just threw I <3 female orgasm t-shirts into the audience.)

Megara’s up. (“I feel like the rock star of sex!”) OMG, one of these things the other week–like 24 people were there. She concludes from the showing that Harvard loves sex; bless her for her faith in us.

More after the jump!

Apparently, she was warned there might be protesters. “I got the image of people outside yelling, ‘we’re against female orgasms!'”

The puppet! Seriously, it’s a plush vulva. It definitely flaps open and shut. Yay, Harvard students can find the clit! (on a vagina the size of a teddy bear)

There are lots of nerves in the clitoris. It’s also NOT in the vagina. For the love of God, please take note.

Ok, we have some assholes who showed up. [and that was a circumscion (sp?) joke she just made!] They’re back there yelling stupid answers much louder than necessary. They are also laughing at EVERTHING. Dudes, not funny. Makes you look like a 12 year old boy. No woman wants to sleep with a guy who doesn’t take female orgasms seriously.

“If you’re squeamish about vaginas, then why are you here?”

Now she’s flipping through pics of vaginas on the smartboart, including ones of women with large clitorises. Kind of wow.

Here come the tips and techniques! There’s apparently quite the learning curve on coming. Lesson one: there’s a looooong plateau. Don’t get bored and give up.

News: porn orgasms are unrealistic.

“What percentage of women can have an orgasm from nipple stimulation alone?” 1%. Lucky witches.

There are prizes! Hella prizes. I see Good Vibrations bags! There are also a lot of books they are giving away, including The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. There are also LOTS of vibrators–including a vibrating rubber ducky.

Avg time it takes a man to orgasm with direct stimulation? 2-5 minutes. Avg time it takes a woman? 20-25 minutes. Simultaneous orgasm? Not so much.

Most orgasm are from clitoral stimulation, not vagina stimulation.

“What are barriers to orgasm?” Some douchebag yells, “Unconscious!” Megara doesn’t skip a beat: yeah, drinking is bad for sexual pleasure.

How to overcome the barriers to orgasm? Practice, practice, practice! Know Thyself! (Here comes the masturbation discussion!) Lube is your best friend. Also water = your friend, apparently. (shower heads.)

P.S.: exercise is good for your body. Specifically, Kegels exercises.

Female masturbation is like spelunking. Not as…obvious as male masturbation.

Now for the female masturbation slang! My favorite: “Ringing for the maid.”

No love for vasiline as a lube–first, it’s oil based, so it dissolves latex. whoops! Also doesn’t wash out, can trap bacteria. (not to mention, just icky.) Forunately, lots of other options!

I WON A PRIZE!!! For knowing that Alabama is one of the four states in the country where sex toys are illegal. The others are: Texas (but they do sell “condom demonstration aids”), Mississippi, and GEORGIA! Rock on!

The Rabbit: It has a little face on it.

FYI: My battery is going to die at any moment. So if I just disappear, that’s where I went.

Yeah, he disappeared after this. It’s too bad. Although we clearly did establish some key points about the female orgasm.

  • Susy

    Kelly is hilarious!

  • harrymete

    Try the A spot orgasm. The A spot is 3-4 inches on the front wall of the vagina. Stimulate it with your fingers to orgasm then have sex.

    Harry Mete
    http://www.1stop4femaleorgasms.com